took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I love having hate sex.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
