I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize