I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
