I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize