She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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