Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
