Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
