ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
