She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
