Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
