I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize