just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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