She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
