I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
