how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
sex in a hospital.. check
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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