Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
