I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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