How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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