Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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