And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
