It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
