why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
