i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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