time to smoke my breakfast
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
