The maid of honor just puked.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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