Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Randomize
