You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
