Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize