If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
