Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
