At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
