I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Randomize
