the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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