Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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