I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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