Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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