I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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