you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
