My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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