maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
