Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Randomize
