Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
