I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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