11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
