I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
