I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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