like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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