just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
