He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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