He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
"it" just moved
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
