sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She needs sedatives and a leash
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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