How'd it feel making her break her religion?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
