I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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