I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
