I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Randomize
