Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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