I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
