i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
