Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
