I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
