i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
