is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
