Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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