if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
