Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she looked like the before picture.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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