I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
