Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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