I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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