kristin has been a bad kristin
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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