woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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