She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
